My Adoption Story -- Chapter Two

February 8, 2013

Recently on Facebook there have been people posting pleas requesting help finding their birth parents online.  It seems like a bit of a desperate move to some, but when you’re searching for birth family, if it works, it works. 

I’ve known my adoption information for most of my life, so my real search hasn’t been for names or identifying information; it’s been the hopeful chance that I might actually get to meet them in real life. 

A bit of a clarification for anyone reading this:  When I say “Mom, Dad, or parents” I’m talking about the family who raised me; legally my adoptive parents.  With no disrespect or bitterness towards my birth parents, they are just that – the parents that gave me genetic and biological life.  Other adoptees may recognize their parentage in whatever fits for them.  But for me, Gordon and Marjorie are and will always be my Dad and Mom.  I will attempt to always call my birth parents by their names; as identified below.

Birth Mother:    Helen Adele (Gusmini) Joyce      “Helen”

Birth Father:      John King Joyce                              “John”

The story I was told (SOME – but not all -- of which has been verified by some research and documents I posses) is that Helen became pregnant by John prior to marriage.  Helen’s mother disapproved of John as he was Irish and divorced.  Helen had some friends that owned a “rock shop” (agates, geodes, etc.) in California; she contacted them and arranged to live with them during her pregnancy and afterwards.  These friends were mutual friends of my mom and dad (in fact, they introduced them).  They knew my parents wanted a child, but were past childbearing age (Marjorie would have been 47 when I was born; Gordon 61).  These 5 people arranged for a legal private adoption through the state of California.

I have a letter that Helen wrote to my parents just about a month before my birth thanking them for adopting me.  I am thankful that my mother kept it for me and didn’t hesitate to give it to me when I asked.  It is one of my treasured possessions that kind of began my search for my birth parents.  The letter is written by Helen but she frequently mentions “us” and “our”.  A brief excerpt:

“The reason for the note is to tell you that you both are wonderful people and to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for “you”.  Hope you donot mind my writing you for I can express myself so much better & get rather “emotional” if I were to thank you in person.”

Most Sincerely

Helen and John Joyce

Inside the envelope (with a 5 cent stamp!) are some hand-written notes from my mother, Marjorie that she received from the social worker on my case.  Apparently, the social worker left the file open on the desk and “left to use the restroom” while my mom was in her office.  From this note, I have full names, birth dates (and years), height, weight, eye and hair color, skin tone, ethnicity and religion of both birth parents.  It’s noted that Helen is a secretary and that both play piano and are athletic.

Along with my other collected documents I have the “Decree of Adoption”, various invoices and payment stubs from the legal office that handled the adoption, birth certificate for Helen and death certificate for John.  

Interestingly enough, I have the names of my father's first two wives, information that I have no where else.  It was required to list all prior marriages of both adoptive parents, as well as other information such as employment and financial history.

My adoption was formalized and recorded February 3, 1964; one day before my mother’s 48^th birthday.