Over the last few months as I’ve been talking to cousins, friends, and former co-workers; I've heard a lot of funny and fantastic stories. Some are from childhood or the past, others are terribly traumatic or sad, and some are romantic or heart-stopping in nature.
After I’ve listened, laughed, cried, or stared wide-eyed in awe, I always tell them "Write your stories.”
Why? Because those stories speak to people; maybe not everyone, maybe not in the same way, but they speak to people about your strength, your past, your sense of humor, and your fears.
Because your children, grandchildren, in-laws, and
future generations of people (you may never know) need to know what life was
like for you in your corner of the world, during your part of history.
People not yet born may want to know how hard (or easy) it was for you to find a job, live in an apartment, drive a car, get out of debt, rescue a pet, or marry your one true love. Life has changed drastically between 1916, 1963, and 2022; how people thought, talked, loved, lived, and survived gives others a sense of where they came from as well as why others are the way they are.
The story your father has told “a million times” may be old news to you, but someday, someone in your family may want to know more than the eye-roll information about the tale. Things get lost over the years in translation, memories fade, and purposes become unclear, but a written (or recorded) story lasts beyond memory and time. Think of all the letters and postcards you've found in boxes, attics, museums, or antique stores.
As a genealogist, I love to hear the stories that people
tell. Where they came from, what their parents told them (or didn’t), why they
joined the military, how they met their spouse, and how they decided to name their
children. I'm always tempted to whip out my phone or a writing pad and jot down the information, but then, they're not MY stories to tell.
Usually, the stories come out on their own, but if you’re interested in coaxing some out of the more introverted or reticent family members, start with a few basic questions: “When did you get your first car? What make and model was it? How did you pay for it?”
Or “How did you meet my mother/father? Where was your first date? Were you named after anyone in particular?"
Or maybe ask what school was like for them, how many houses they lived in, if they had siblings, what holidays were celebrated, and how.
What was their first job, and their favorite one? Do they remember what they earned? Did they save their money, spend it all at once, or help a parent/family member pay some bills?
Every family has a special vernacular; a language distinct to them. Nicknames, scrambled words, and funny phrases that are unique to each family that other people wouldn't understand. How did they evolve? What do they mean? Why was it so important to the family?
You can write down the answers or encourage them to write them down (I’ve found most people are hesitant to do it themselves), or record them on your phone, and transcribe them later. Better yet, video the interview. You’ll get facial expressions, and a whole different medium type to pass on to future generations. (Of course, you should get their consent before you post on social media, blog, or a video channel).
It doesn't matter if the grammar, spelling, or sentence structure is perfect. You don't have to verify facts (although you could certainly get someone else's viewpoint of the story to make it richer!), or correct misinformation. The point is to get the story down.
So, the next time you’re out with friends or family, listen to that story one more time and write it down. Because the stories of our life are the stories for the future.
